By Mel Gilden
Like most people, I love cookies. And Laurie is one of the queen cookie makers of the world. (Watch this space for cookie recipes to come.) I assure you that this presents a problem because, unless I want to look like a sumo wrestler, I am not able to, nor should I, eat all the cookies she makes. Short of inviting the neighbors in, the question is what to do with the extras — which is to say the dozens that are left after I’ve eaten a few when they are still warm.
I will certainly eat more of them over the following days, and meanwhile one can store them in plastic bags or jars or tins. That will certainly work, but bags and jars lack a certain — how shall I say? — style. I prefer a cookie jar.
I’ve always liked to own things that remind me of things that I enjoy, so it stands to reason that I would love cookie jars — and I do. Not holiday jars in the shape of snowmen or Santas or turkeys but jars shaped like Sherlock Holmes, Klingons, Darth Vader, or Yoda — but most especially like spaceships.
The first cookie jar I purchased was actually a sculpture done by my friend Max. It was painted-and-fired clay, and it looked like a stubby spaceship held together by rivets. You could lift off the pointy bow of the ship to see that there was plenty of room inside for cookies. Of course, in those days I had no need to watch my weight, and so there were usually more cookies in me than in the cookie jar.
I have never owned a cookie jar in the shape of Holmes or of an alien, though I still have high hopes. I do have a bottle that has a stopper in the shape of Mr. Spock’s head, but the neck of the bottle is way too small for cookies.
Speaking of Mr. Spock: I have been hunting for years for a cookie jar in the shape of the Starship Enterprise and have never found one, not even for ready money. If you honestly ponder the shape of the Enterprise, you’ll see that unless the jar were enormous, there wouldn’t be room inside for cookies or anything else.
Currently the cookie jar of my dreams is the TARDIS, Doctor Who’s abode and, for lack of a better description, time machine. Aboard the TARDIS the Doctor can travel through time and space — Time And Relative Dimensions In Space, get it? The TARDIS looks like a police call box; I understand there was a time when one of these blue emergency boxes stood on almost every street corner in England. These days, the Doctor has one of the very few.
As you might guess, a big rectangular box would be a very practical shape for a cookie jar. One of these days I will look on eBay and see if such a thing actually exists. The real problem is this: While the Doctor’s TARDIS is bigger on the inside than on the outside (don’t ask me how this works, I’m no Time Lord), any TARDIS I am likely to find for sale would be the same size on the inside or smaller. Heavy sigh. Sometimes reality is so disappointing. I’ll just have to eat more cookies.